i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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