What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize