Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
