Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize