as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize