I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
