I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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