I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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