Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm at about main and main street
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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