yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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