i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?