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i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
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