didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
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I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Two words: blizzard sex
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.