Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day

  (619): View more from California

  ahah at least you got away with it

  (714): View more from California

  nope...my gran was the one who informed me

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  (714): i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day (619): ahah at least you got away with it (714): nope...my gran was the one who informed me http://tfl.nu/wy9x
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.

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  (815): I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/se3d
  Replies (10) Good night (5154) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (353): View more from

  i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash

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  (353): i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash http://tfl.nu/bafg
  Replies (22) Good night (5538) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...

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  (810): I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work... http://tfl.nu/lwph
  Replies (29) Good night (4209) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick

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  (910): I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick http://tfl.nu/ykrr
  Replies (23) Good night (509) Bad night (5561) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?

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  (607): i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life? http://tfl.nu/2cyx
  Replies (27) Good night (854) Bad night (5008) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  It was just a squirrel

  (253): View more from Washington

  You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

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  (406): It was just a squirrel (253): You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar http://tfl.nu/smls
  Replies (11) Good night (5626) Bad night (802)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.

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  (636): I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk. http://tfl.nu/1zna
  Replies (4) Good night (1203) Bad night (2402) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.

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  (510): I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass. http://tfl.nu/spz3
  Replies (24) Good night (6475) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...

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  (412): New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move... http://tfl.nu/y03w
  Replies (12) Good night (3106) Bad night (791)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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  (864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu
  Replies (21) Good night (3646) Bad night (1763) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just make sure my intervention has a theme...

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  (256): Just make sure my intervention has a theme... http://tfl.nu/wrxo
  Replies (9) Good night (1492) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month

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  (515): I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month http://tfl.nu/wdkb
  Replies (9) Good night (1032) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.

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  (712): He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge. http://tfl.nu/wcqn
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

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  (814): I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/livq
  Replies (8) Good night (735) Bad night (299)

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