Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.