How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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