...so i touched it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
