i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
