hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
