my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
