My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
