can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
