I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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