Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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