what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
