Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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