Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
