I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
