? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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