he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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