do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My pussy is not your playground.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize