So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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