If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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