I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
