you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
