i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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