maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
