I accidentally burped into my bong.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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