Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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