Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
