Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
