hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
