Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
