My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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