So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize