u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
