there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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