Jerry, you need to find god
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize