So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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