i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
