I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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