so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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