Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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