Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
