oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
organizing the empties. That sober.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
