i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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