Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
