To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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