did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
