hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
