You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
